The Learning Begins

After re-learning the basics I had to set about catching up with the rest of society. The most difficult thing for me to grasp was the Internet. The concept of the Web took some getting used to but once i learned how to use it i began to catch up on so much of what i had missed in the last 15 years. Where to begin? Porn sure has come a long way. In fact its almost hard to avoid on the Net. Its like a huge Cyber-stalker. There is all kinds of it too. Freaky weird and most likely illegal porn! And Professional Wrestling has become way too popular in my opinion. Everyone seems to have a tiny phone with them wherever they go and most of them are talking on it. Standing in line, while driving, while eating... who is everyone talking to?? Seems to me i remeber having cell phones back in the day but they werent nearly as plentiful. And we called them walkie-talkies. SOme people had car phones but they were called CB Radios.

The Information Superhighway is pretty neat. My hat is off to the guy who invented it... a man named Al Gore, i heard. He actually was a vice president and they say he also ran for President of the whole U.S.A. But he lost to the Governor of Texas and got so angry about it he quit politics all together. That's what my friend told me. Turns out though, since he had so much time off he did some research and found out that the whole Earth is going to explode! It seems, according to this Gore fellow, that the North Pole has melted driving polar bears out to sea on iceberg chunks only to make landfall in certain areas and eat the locals because the get so hungry floating on the open ocean. Not only this but it seems the temperature of Mother Earth is very high now and some countries are likely to burn up in Hell-like fires. And I don't know how he did it, but he narrowed down the causes of all this to a few key factors those being mostly anybody who voted against him and people in general who lean Republican. But politics aside he says if we all get rid of our pick-up trucks and four wheel-drive vehicles the planet will be OK again. Plus we need to stop using diapers on our babies. Thank God for that Al Gore... without him we'd all be doomed.