Words for fun and sniffing butt

Oh Buttermilk Babies,
I will be sharing from time to time some of me favorite words and even perhaps a name or two. Not just slang but favorites from standard written English as well as the King's English. Words have meaning. This day and age has cheapened some of the most beautiful words and phrases ever penned. I like to say certain words, to myself or out loud because they make me happy. I dislike using curse words. I will use a curse word from time to time usually in private conversation for emphasis or humor. Overall however, I think people who curse are lazy minded and intellectually a bore. At any rate, here begins a partial list of my favorite words;

Beaver, Weasel, perfunctory, Butrose-Butrose Ghali (sp?), All of the names for cornbread some of which are Johnny cake, spoon bread, corn pone, jackboot, cock-sure, fugly, chattahoochie, pot pie, Fox or Foxy, Puss-puss (my cat's nickname), Shoefly, kumquat, anus, ojibawa, Chuck Nuttycomb, otter box, sasquahanna, chick-pea, platypuss (the unofficial mascot of this blog).

Again, these are a few words on my lengthy ever growing list of words that makes me happy to say them. Ever watch America's Funniest Videos? I have learned to enjoy that show. I watch it with my Bears (Honey Bear and Boo Bear). My Bears are my Special Ones, not to be confused with my friend's insatiable Bear fetish we discussed in an earlier posting.
I love to see people falling down. Of course we all hope they aren't hurt but people losing their balance is particularly funny to me. Especially those that for example, stumble and have lost equilibrium but they cant help running in the direction they are falling to try and catch up to themselves but ultimately lose it. Rats make great pets. I had a fall like that this morning and boy did it hurt! It was a backwards fall and i landed smack on my tail bone.
Honey-Bear asked me a great question this morning. She and I were sitting on the veranda with Puss-Puss and Onyx when someone came walking by with their dog. Well onyx and the Border Collie mix greeted each other in the usual Bitch way via smelling each others' asses. So Bear Bear says, "Why do dogs smell each other's tails when they meet?" As a youngster once myself i remember asking that very question. The difference was I had the benefit of asking a wise old Sage who lived deep in the Hindu-Kush Mountain Range at the top of the World, my parents being Doctors/Missionaries to the region. Once a "Seer" or Medicine Man this man was112 years old according to the locals and he was uncharacteristically fit and his mind like a steel trap (whatever that means, if its a good thing). I remember it like yesterday though it was nigh on 30 year ago. He might be there still today for All i know. His name was Chewey Futterman. I responded to Bear with the following true story... Long long ago, before there were many homos (Sapiens that is) the dinosaurs ruled the Earth. And before they learned how to grow, cultivate, roll and smoke tobacco (which caused their eventual demise according to Al Gore) the huge dinosaurs loved to get together and play. They would have relay races, three footed races, mud wrestling, triathlons, and all manner of sporting events. But the thing these big behemoths loved the most was dancing. They loved to line dance, break dance, tango, lambada, you name it the dinosaurs loved it and got pretty good at it too.
Well, Chewey says that they would pick an area for a big Come-as-you-are dance on the night of the full moon each month. This was when dinos from all the provinces would all come together and have a huge dance competition (not unlike the movies "How She Move" and "Stomp da Yard"). The big brontosauruses and T-Rex guys would find an area and take their massive tails and swipe away the trees and brush and make a huge clearing.
One month the various rival dance crews got into such heavy action on the streets trying to outdo each other that a Championship, Winner-take- all event was planned for the next full moon. Word spread like wildfire and it soon became the only thing the Saurs could talk about. EVERY dinosaur from EVERYWHERE on earth made plans to be there. Even some homos (sapiens, that is) had caught wind of the big event and planned to watch from afar. The appointed night arrived and the Jurassic Jubilee got underway. Dinosaurs from the whole world were there. Big fat saurs, little tiny saurs, young saurs and old saurs, black saurs and white saurs alike. Pink saurs purple saurs blue red and green... stupid saurs and smarty suars dull saurs and keen... all were there. They all came into the clearing to find a place to watch. After, of course removing their tails. As the preliminary rounds began, whats that? Tails? Of course they could remove their tails. Imagine a dinosaur trying to do the moonwalk with that massive tail getting in the way. Really, its rather silly to thing any dinosaur could dance with their tails in the way. So they would all remove their tails before a dance and hang it up. Sort of like checking your coat at the door of a restaurant or something. It was quite common then. Animals don't much remove tails anymore but back then the saurs were so massive that tail removal while dancing or sporting was rather necessary.
Anyways the dance-off was in full swing when about midnight the moon was blotted out by the most menacing storm clouds anyone had seen. Then the sky seemed to tear open right down the middle and the rains came puring down in proportions never before known! Well as everyone knows if there is one thing a dinosaur does NOT like its getting wet. There wasn't a square inch of cover for miles around because the clearing was made to accommodate the event so the dinos took off like lightening into the night grabbing any tail they could reach. Well in the Malay, obviously not a single saur got his own tail. Purple saurs grabbed spotted tails... spotted saurs took T-Tex tails and so on and so on. The confusion was world-wide and because of the popular emergence of cigarette smoking the sporting events and dances became more difficult to participate in and by unfortunate happenstance the dinosaurs never again had an event on the scale of that final dance nite. Each saur spending every day since that night sniffing each others' tails and inspecting them to see if perhaps he could find his own. And of course as the millenia passed dinosaurs became other animals until eventually today we have their distant cousins, dogs and cats, who still thoroughly inspect one another's tails to see if they can find their own. Some of them have succeeded over time but still you see all too often a white dog with grey spots and a black tail or vice-versa, small dogs with big tails, big dogs with stubby tails and so on and so on.....